Keep it fast and funny to avoid tedious events

Off to the European Sponsorship Association awards inside the rock 'n' roll museum at the O2 arena last night.  Which sounds a lot more glamorous than it was.  Lots of luvvie agency types, decent food, no top ups on the bubbly and truly tedious content.

Let's be generous.  Award ceremonies are tough.  Everyone wants to win, but most people don't care about much outside of their own category.  Hosting organisations often use awards as a cash generator (those entry fees can be steep), so it's in their interest to have lots of them.  Which can make for a long night.  We've all been bored by bad productions of the Oscars, and that's celebrating one of the most glamorous industries on the planet. 

How to make corporate award ceremonies interesting?  Here's some best practice I've seen.

ONE.  Invest in a professional, comic host.  Professional comics in the UK seem to be doing this as a regular sideline.  Back in the states, people like my journalism-school classmate Greg Schwem have made a whole career of it.  They research the industry, poke fun and get everyone engaged in little spurts between the award distribution.

TWO.  Award at breakneck speed.  Let's face it, nobody cares about anything other than who won.  The World Communications Awards are masters at this.  Flash the nominee names, call the winner, snap the photo, on to the next.  No speeches and please no corporate promos or case studies.  That might be interesting but do it in a different way.  Which leads to...

THREE.  Put winners in a take-home pack.  I am interested in learning from the winning entries, honest.  Just not over a nice dinner when I'm trying to chat to colleagues.  Produce a booklet that lists all the winners and gives a one-page case study of their winning efforts.  (Smart award committees make this a part of the nomination process, so it's a simple cut and paste job from their application.)  Print it in advance, give it out to people as they leave.  That saves time, and becomes a valued resource after the event.

Sadly, none of these things happened last night.  And we didn't even win our category.  (Begrudging congratulations, Cisco.)  Here's hoping for a better result next time.